Surviving the Grief of an Overdose Death

The death of a loved one is always devastating

When that loss is the result of an overdose, there can be emotions that bring unique challenges in addition to the typical symptoms of grief.

The point of this booklet isn't to give you all the information that may be helpful for you in the months or years to come. Instead, we hope this booklet can help you do three things:

• Explain some of the common emotions that come with a substance-related death
• Provide you with some quick tips for seeking support in your own community
• Direct you to additional resources on the internet

Common Emotions When Grieving an Overdose Death

When grieving an overdose death, you will likely experience some of the common emotions that come with grief: sadness, loneliness, yearning, anger, confusion, numbness, heartache, and exhaustion.

But with a substance-related loss there are additional common emotions and feelings which may not be discussed as often in general resources about grief.

Feeling the Death was Avoidable or Preventable

Grief about overdose loss, much like suicide, is complex because people feel like the death was somehow preventable. This can create an array of complicated emotions, many of which can be linked back to this feeling that there is someone or something to blame.

Many of the feelings listed below — including guilt, shame, blame, fear, and isolation — can all, in some way, be connected back to this feeling that this death could have or should have been prevented.

Guilt

Though guilt can be a component of grief for many types of losses, the guilt associated with overdose loss can present itself in different ways:

• Guilt that you could have done something to prevent the loss
• Guilt that your loved one suffered from addiction
• Guilt if the death brings a sense of relief
• Guilt that you were not aware of their drug use or substance dependencies

Shame

Guilt is something we feel within ourselves, based on our own perception of what we could or should have done in a certain situation. Shame is something we feel based on our perception of what others think of us.

Blame

Self blame, as well as blame between friends and family members, can be common following an overdose death.

Fear and Anxiety

Once someone has lost a family member to addiction, anxieties can arise or increase:

• Fear that other family members will start abusing substances
• Fear that others who are already using substances will also overdose
• Fear that others who are in recovery will relapse

Stigma and Isolation

Though we know addiction touches hundreds of thousands of families each year, the family may not know experiencing addiction often suffer in silence due to the feelings of stigma, guilt and shame.

What Can You Do About These Complicated Emotions?

We wish there was an easy answer to this question, but there's not. We all deal with grief in our own time and in our own way.

There is no "right" or "not right" way to grieve, but there are some activities you can do that may be helpful.

5 Things You Can Do

• Accept the Role of Substances in the Death - Understanding addiction can help us see our guilt and blame are often misplaced
• Find a Form of Expression - Find some way that you can express the emotions (art, music, photography, writing)
• Understand Addiction - Learning about addiction as a disease can help address guilt and self-blame
• Stand Up For Yourself - Research shows challenging unhelpful comments can help you feel supported
• Avoid People Who Aren't Helping - You don't have to surround yourself with people who are not helping in your grief

Finding Support

Share Grief Support With Others

Share SADOD wallet cards with anyone who will benefit from them. They are shipped free to addresses in Massachusetts.

Resources

You are not alone in your grief